you

"I say that I wish you the best, and I hope that you're happy, but in reality I think I'm lying when i say that." She said flatly.

They were sitting across from each other for the first time since he left her for someone else.

He cocked his head to the side. "Why?"

"Because..," She chuckled, "No matter how many people you go through, you'll eventually realize that I was the best and that I still am the best. You'll wish you could have me back and it'll make you miserable, but I don't think I'll care by the time you figure it out. Sure I want you happy, but you'll never be as happy as I could've made if you just gave me a chance."

She looks at him and bites her lips.

"Maybe I'll always love you because in so many ways, you were my best. And you still are. But I'm not wasting my time because I gave you more than enough chances and you still took advantage of what I had. All I want you to know is that when you realize it's always been me, I won't take you back. You had your chance."

He couldn't say anything. He knew in his heart that she was right, but the fact she felt this way about him crushed him. His face dropped and all he could do was look down.

janji dengan i jangan gelak, okay?

Zara: "You suka movie apa? I mean war ke, psiko yang bunuh bunuh ke?" 

Akil: "Em.. kalau i cakap you janji dengan i jangan gelak, okay?"

Zara: "Okay i janji" (angkat lima jari janji)

Akil: "I... suka romantic comedy"

(pandang Akil lama lama) (gelak)

Akil: "Come on, tadi dah janji tak gelakkan i"

Zara: "Tak macho langsung" (gelak lagi)

Akil: "Biar aaa tak macho pun, certain romantic comedy okay apa"

Zara: "Oh ya i tahu! Juliana Robert punya movie"

Akil: "Em ya, i tengok yang tu jugak. Not bad"

Zara: "I dah tengok dua kali tau movie tu"

Akil: "Tipuuuuuuu"

Zara: "Ye, betul tak tipuu. Oh bukan dua kali, tiga kali dah sebenarnya hehe"

Akil: "Mesti you nangis kan?

Zara: "I? nangis? Come on Akil, tak main aaa nangis nangis ni"

(sedut air sambil senyum)

jangan ambik semua

"Erm Akil, pahal kau tak datang kerja semalam?"

"I.. ambik MC"

"Ooh.. pandai ponteng eh sekarang" (gelak)

"Weh, nak tak? Aku beli kat makcik buta kat bawah tu"

"Apa tu?"

"Entah, kuih bulat bulat dalam dia inti sardin. Ambiklah"

(ambik satu polestrin)

"Ambik satu je, jangan ambik semua"

(gelak) "Aku gurau aaa, ambik ah semua"

(pandang kuih dalam polestrin)

"Bagi aku satu boleh? terima kasih" 

lebih dari sekadar kebetulan

Aku tak peduli sama sekali

andai rambutmu tak hitam segelap malam,

kerna aku tahu ia perang bukan kerana saduran,

sebetulnya asli seperti yang terciptakan.

Aku tak peduli sama sekali

andai kau tak membaca tentang puisi dan karangan

kerna bagiku kaulah puisi yang ku angankan

yang mahu ku tulis semenjak kita berkenalan.

Aku tak peduli sama sekali

andai kita tak berkongsi lagu-lagu kegemaran,

kerna cinta adalah lebih dari sekadar kebetulan

dan kegembiraan tak seharusnya terancang.

Aku tak peduli sama sekali

andai kau tak terpikat pada kata-kataku,

cukuplah kau tertawa kerna aku,

kerna jenaka lucu yang tak sengaja ku susun begitu. 

kebetulan

Aku mengalah dan bersandar pada kata-katamu

kita hanya kebetulan,

dua jiwa yang saling tertawan

kerna cinta pada bau hujan

warna-warna sepadan

dan senja yang menawan.

Aku mengalah dan bersandar pada kata-katamu 

kita harus saling melepaskan

dua jiwa yang saling tertawan

kerna takut pada kesunyian

akur akan keinginan 

terburu-buru di sebuah pertemuan

Ya sayang,

barangkali kita hanya sebuah kebetulan,

kebetulan yang direncanakan. 

malam sepi

Ketika bayang mantan kekasihmu datang menghuni malam sepimu,

aku sedang memujuk lenganku

agar tak melulu memeluk dirimu. 

lapang

"Sayang, macam mana nak buat ni? Penuh sesak kereta kita ni. Beg baju awak, barang lagi, anak-anak lagi." Kata aku sambil menggaru kepala keserabutan. Nak balik jauh ni oii. Aku cuit bini yang tengah pakai seatbelt. "Cuba awak bagi saya idea macam mana nak kasi lapang sikit kereta kita ni. Tak ubah tin sardin mackerel." 

Sedang kami memenuhi kereta yang agak padat dan sendat, tetiba aku berterabur gelak lepas capai phone dan baca whatsapp yang ada kena mengena dengan kejadian harini.

"Kenapa awak senyum?" 

Baca ni. Tunjuk aku pada bini akan paparan skrin smartphone. Kemudian ada dua orang gelak berdekah. Hehehe.

There was this one laki of Terengganu people nak balik kampung and they were stuffed into one small car like a Kancil. Seven of the family members all together, so the mum said.

Mum : Guane nih. Penoh kete. Dok muak ayoh mu wey!

Dad : Betul jugok. Guane nok buak nih? Lame nok sapa kapong.

Mum : Tujuh oghang dokleh sumbak masuk kete nih. Kecik do'oh.

They then thought and thought of the solution to their problems and how to make some space in the car. Suddenly their youngest son shouted.

Son : Abah. Umi. Awang tau doh guane nok buak. Kite skaghang ada tujuh oghang. Tamboh la soghang lagi. Baru jadik 'lapang'! 

Wahai! 

shame on you

shame on how years of elite education

a modest amount of money in the bank

names of prestige taught you nothing about being kind

being considerate

being truthful

being humane

shame on how your speech is filled with names of others

mannerisms of others

mistakes of others

lifestories of others

shame on how you find it shameful that people speak of you

yet you speak so ill of others

for you hearts are unexceptionally bitter and full of hatred

don't argue with me with the fact that people spend their time on nothing but backbiting and gossiping

yes that is what she is wearing and how she portrays it 

yes that is who he is marrying and how's that a grave mistake

yes that is where they are living and it could have been better if it were to be me

dang humans

let people live

say it to their faces rather than to the ears of others

they are often so busy with the stories of others

that they can't see the ill-natured pathetic life & sins of their own

God.

thank you BintuMajid. 

anjing

Jam menunjukkan pukul 4 pagi. Entah apa yang mempengaruhi populasi manusia tetiba ramai customer datang. Memasing sibuk carik barang-barang yang diperlukan. Ada yang kebulur memilih roti gardenia 60 sen, ada yang gigih tunggu slurpy kaler macam muntah badang, tidak ketinggalan juga nyonya yang curious apa bezanya berus gigi berus tebal dengan charcoal. 

Tetiba datang seorang lelaki berumur lingkungan 50 tahun ke atas dengan kehendak Tuhan menyapa aku. 

"Ni kerja dari pukul berapa?" sambil turunkan spek mata beliau gaya mantan pengetua sekolah menengah aku. Rindu pulak kat pengetua. Eh.

"7 malam semalam uncle," jawab Faiz sopan yang jaga kaunter.

"Budak-budak muda macam engkorang ni mana boleh letak sama-sama syif malam" balas uncle tersebut sambil meletak shaver di kaunter.

Otak aku ligat berfikir segala macam kemungkinan disebalik ayat uncle tu. Cuba sangka baik. Aku balas senyum kambing je. 

"Tu la Tuhan kasi 24 jam, ada untuk tidur, ada untuk kerja. Dulu sekolah panjat pagar, kempiskan tayar kereta cikgu, taknak belajar betul-betul kan dah kerja macam ni," tambah uncle sambil menepuk-nepuk bahu aku. 

Aku tersentak dan mula pandang Faiz kat sebelah. Faiz pun pandang aku, dia tunjuk signal mata nak bidas balik kata-kata pujangga uncle tu. 


Babi sentap sial wa cakap lu. 


"Ha'ah tu lah uncle. Tuhan pun bagi akal mana elok mana tak, belajar tinggi-tinggi pun tak guna setakat beli shaver nak beratur pun tak reti, takde manners, nampak macam tak pernah sekolah" kata aku bersahaja sambil buat-buat susun dunhill. 

uncle tu pun blah mengambil balance dan shaver sejemput dengan kasar, gadis jelita yang tengah pregnant dipotong barisannya tadi tersenyum je pandang aku.

Apa lu ingat kerja 7-E hina sangat ke uncle? Dah lah tuduhan tak berasas, cakap aku panjat pagar lah apa lah.




Eh jap. Cemana dia tahu aku bocorkan tayar kancil cikgu Idris?